Crawling Back To You
by Hollyoaks Nutter
Summary: It is weeks after the argument and Aaron hasn't been back to the hospital, in fact he decides he has to concentrate on getting over Jackson so he hits the town.  This is my account of how he ends up going back.  Carly x
1. The Perfect Plan

Aaron decided he needed a night out. He opted for a Thursday to avoid the usual weekend rush, but he happened to pick the one night Bar West were holding their annual karaoke competition.

He sat by himself in one of the booths at the rear of the bar, staring at his now tepid pint, occasionally he glanced up at the door. It was unnerving to know that Jackson wouldn't be walking in wearing that tight red checked shirt and his goofy smile.

Aaron couldn't relax, paranoia set in, he felt like everyone in the bar was staring at him, like they knew what he'd done, what he was.

Having survived an hour and a half he decided enough was enough. Jackson had made it perfectly clear they were over and he had to move on, and he was unlikely to do that sat in the very bar where they had met, drowning his sorrows and stirring up past memories.

He was on his feet, putting on his coat and checking his pockets for his phone, keys and wallet when he felt a tentative tap on his shoulder.

"_You're not going are you? I just worked up the courage to come over here. I mean being as cute as you are I assumed you were waiting on someone."_

Aaron almost pirouetted and found himself inches from the most stunning pair of chocolate brown eyes he had ever seen, belonging to a lad with spiky brown hair, of a similar age and build to him, wearing a tight black polo neck t-shirt and a pair of figure hugging skinny jeans.

"_No just having a quiet drink."_

He was definitely cute and Aaron was convinced he had seen him in the bar before, not that he had ever looked.

"_So you're not here to sing then? The lads signed me up for a laugh."_

"_It would be a laugh if I sang, or a disaster one or the other."_

"_So if I bought you another pint I couldn't persuade you to make it a duet?"_

Aaron blushed at his forwardness, but he took a deep breath and managed a nervous smile. It was only flirting what harm could it do?

"_That depends."_

"_On what?"_

The stranger returned his smile.

"_Do I get to know your name?"_

"_Yeah of course. I'm Luke. I think I have met you before. You are Andy…no Aaron. You were going out with Jackson, my ex's mate._ Aaron felt the colour drain from his face. _Have you and him had a falling out? We haven't seen him in here lately."_

"_You could say that, but I don't want to talk about it."_

Aaron mumbled before downing the rest of his pint and standing ready to leave. The last thing he needed was to spend the rest of his night talking about Jackson, when he couldn't stop thinking about him anyway.

"_Alright. I'm sorry. Don't go._ Luke grabbed his hand. _I'll get you that other pint."_

"_No._ _Thank you._ Aaron pulled away and made a dash for the door. _I have to be somewhere. It was nice seeing you again."_

Once he was out of earshot Luke made a phone call.

"_He's on the way to you. Just trust me. Tell Jay we're thinking of him and we'll visit him when he's ready. I know. Yeah, bye Hazel."_

Luke returned to his mates a Cheshire Cat grin on his face.

"_So that was easy."_

"_It worked then?"_

"_He's on his way to see him now. He definitely misses him. You should have seen his face when I mentioned him."_

"_Maybe he just didn't fancy you."_

"_Be serious. He's just a taken man."_

"_And you're sure about that?"_

"_I'd bet my life on it."_

"_Right, well drink up 'cos you're up next."_

"_You can't be serious?"_

"_Oh but I am. A bet's a bet."_

"_I guess. Get me one in then. I'll need it."_

Aaron was stood at the bus stop in the freezing cold apparently he'd just missed a bus and the next one wasn't for over half an hour, so he swallowed his pride and called the cavalry.

"_Paddy. It's me. I know you're in the Woolie, but can you do me a favour? What do you mean? I need a lift to the hospital. I'm at Bar West. I know, but there every half an hour. I know when visiting hours are. Can you please just take me? I'll owe you one. Yeah bye. Bye."_

When Paddy arrived Aaron was frozen and his patience was wearing thin.

"_Where have you been?"_

"_The roads are bad you're lucky I came at all."_

"_I know I'm sorry."_

"_What changed your mind anyway?"_

"_I got chatted up."_

"_And that isn't a good thing?"_

Paddy asked suddenly confused.

"_It is. If I were over Jackson."_

"_And you're not."_

Paddy couldn't hide his obvious excitement.

"_No. You were right. I…I love him."_

"_And he's finally got there. So you're going to tell him that?"_

"_If he'll listen."_

"_He will. He's not as stubborn as you."_

Paddy quipped.

"_I wouldn't bet on it. That's one of the things that drew me to him."_

Aaron blushed he hated all the soppy lovey dovey talking about feelings, but when it came to Jackson he couldn't seem to help himself.

As they pulled up outside the hospital Paddy noticed that Aaron suddenly appeared less than confident.

"_Do you want me to come with you?"_

He squeezed his shoulder comfortingly.

"_No. It's down to me now."_

"_Good luck then."_

"_Thanks Pads. I'll see you later."_

"_You will. Just be honest with him. He'll know you mean it."_

"_I hope so. I really do."_


	2. Aaron's Decleration

Standing just out of view of the room Aaron took three deep breaths to calm his nerves, as he could hear Hazel nattering.

"_Oh hello."_

She stopped mid sentence as he appeared in the doorway and hitched a smile onto his face.

"_Hey."_

Jackson did not look amused.

"_She send you?"_

He glared at his mum accusingly, as Aaron managed to stutter his reply.

"_Nnno. How are you?"_

"_How do you think?"_

"_I guess I'll leave you to it."_

She bustled out of the room, ignoring the daggers her son was currently shooting at her.

"_Do you want me to leave to?"_

"_No."_

Aaron managed a weak smile, as Jackson turned his attention back to the television.

"_I thought you might like a drink."_

He held up a bottle of his favourite beer.

"_What is it you want?"_

This was the question Aaron had been rehearsing the answer to on the way over. He had to make him listen. He had to understand.

"_I need to know. Is it because of me you won't move back to the village?"_

"_Yeah. You're all I think about all the time."_

He shot back scathingly, as he rolled his eyes skywards.

"_If it is then I'll go. I'll move away."_

"_Awww playing the martyr are we?"_

"_It makes a change from you doing it. Look. It is a good house and your mum is brilliant."_

"_I said no."_

Jackson really could be stubborn when he wanted, but it was breaking his heart having to lie to Aaron about this.

"_What if I said I wanted you to come back?_

"_You could say it backwards it still wouldn't make a difference."_

Jackson made every attempt to avoid eye contact. Aaron would know if he was lying.

"_But I do though. I do want you to come back. And if you do…"_

"_I won't."_

Jackson spat back.

"_Well then you'd have me."_

For the first time Jackson looked up directly into his face. He wanted to make sure he'd heard him properly.

"_You want to spend the rest of your life chained to what's left of me do you?"_

"_After what we had why wouldn't I?"_

Aaron was being honest. He was opening his heart to him. He at least owed him the same courtesy.

"_I'll tell you why cos every time you look at me you feel guilt, guilt and pity. Don't you think I feel bad enough?" _

Aaron knew that wasn't it.

"_I know why you did it. Why you finished with me. You don't think I'm up to it do you?"_

And there it was again. Aaron's argument for everything. If he couldn't cope it was because he was weak.

"_To be a full time carer? I tell you what lets call the nurses in here and they can tell you exactly what they have to do to me every day._ It had nothing to do with the physical support, although he knew that would be demanding. He had given Aaron a way out a chance to leave him, because he didn't believe he loved him. _You haven't got a clue."_

"_You knew that I was scared and you knew I felt guilty and you knew I was looking for an excuse to leg it so you gave it me, but I won't do that again."_

He wanted to believe that with all his heart, but he couldn't.

"_Just give over."_

But Aaron was about to prove him wrong.

"_I was at Bar West tonight met a guy called Nick he wanted to go on somewhere and make a bit of a night of it."_

"_And you thought you'd come here and get my permission? Well you've got it so you can do one and have a good night with your new mate."_

Jackson struggled to hold back the tears threatening to fall.

"_I couldn't do it. So I legged it. Cos all I wanted was you."_

"_I was your first you'll always have a thing about your first."_

"_No I'll always have a thing about you."_

"_What kind of life can we have me and you?"_

"_As good as we can get."_

They managed to share a smile.

"_Good? With me not being able to feel or touch do you have any idea how lonely that is?"_

"_No."_

Aaron was under no illusion things would be difficult, but Victoria, Hazel, Paddy, well everyone was right he had found the person he loved in Jackson and he would be a fool to let him go now.

"_We can never be together again we can never share the same bed that won't be enough for me and I know that won't be enough for you. You're better off with somebody else."_

Aaron grabbed his hand.

"_I don't want to be with somebody else."_

"_Maybe not now, but in six months time."_

"_I won't leg it again. I won't leave you ever."_

"_Don't talk daft."_

Jackson closed his eyes in an attempt to push him away.

"_Look I mean it. Aaron had never been surer about anything. Please just come back to the village? We belong together me and you."_

"_You've got to mean it. You've got to really mean it." _

"_I wouldn't be here else would I? It's you and me mate. It's us against life. I won't ever let you down again._ Jackson's heart was beating a hundred times a minuet against his rib cage and Aaron felt it as he leant in to kiss him on the lips. _Oh and one other thing."_

"_What?"_

"_I love you."_

"_I love you too." _


	3. Three Years Later  Barton Meltdown

"_We are meant to trust each other Adam."_

"_I do trust you, but what could you have done?"_

Over the last three and a half years whilst Jackson had managed to get back on his feet as a result of intense therapy and the love and support of his family and Aaron, the Barton's had officially gone into meltdown finally hitting rock bottom as Holly wound up in a drug induced coma and Hannah ran away.

"_I don't know but you told Aaron. You tell him everything."_

Admittedly they had grown closer, but that was mainly due to the fact they were supporting one another through a difficult time via the means of beer and the X-Box. He wondered when he would crop up; she'd been going on already for a good half an hour. He was beyond tired as he had been by Holly's bedside most of the night and then he was up at five to work on the farm with Andy, so he was in no mood for this argument. He'd supposedly met her in the pub for a quiet drink and a quick bite to eat, before he headed home for a kip.

"_He was the one who had to deal with her that night in town, he found her when she ran away and he got you your purse back."_

"_That's not the point._ Scarlet scoffed. _Sometimes I think you should be dating him."_

She may have been joking or at least Adam hoped she was, but he couldn't help but notice the glimmer of hurt in her eyes.

'_It would be easier.'_ He couldn't help thinking. _"Scarlet he is my best mate." He bit back his frustration. _

"_And I am your girlfriend."_

"_Not anymore."_

Adam had reached breaking point.

"_What?"_

He couldn't believe it she actually sounded surprised, but in all fairness he hadn't been dating her for her intellect, the truth was as Aaron often reminded him 'you're with her 'cos she's fit and loaded.'

"_Scar, my family is falling apart around me and all you go on about is Aaron. He's with Jackson and we both have bigger things to worry about right now."_

"_You should have told me."_

"_Fine. I made a mistake, but enough is enough. I have to be up early again tomorrow, so I'm going to get my head down for a couple of hours. Bye, Scarlet."_

"_Adam wait…fine run off to him. You always do."_

"_I'm not running to anyone. I am walking away from you."_

"_Wait. I'm sorry."_

"_Too late."_

He called over his shoulder as he walked out into the bracing afternoon air, a smile played on his lips as he realized he felt strangely free.


	4. It's Over and Promises Are Broken

"_Do you want another?"_

Jackson could sense Aaron's discomfort; Bar West brought back a mix of conflicting feelings for both of them.

"_No I want…need to get out of this place as soon as, but you want to talk so talk."_

"_I don't really know wh-"_

"_Jay just get on with it please."_

Aaron was physically shaking, his hands were so tense that his knuckles were white and every slight sound or movement close by made him jump.

"_The thing is I love you, but deep down we both know you're never going to feel the same."_

"_That's not true."_

"_Aaron it's been years since the accident and I have made unbelievable progress, but the way you look at me, what I see in your eyes that hasn't changed. There is love, but it is masked by guilt and pain. Aaron you didn't cause that crash and you did your duty of standing by me, but now…now it's time to live your life. I want you to be happy."_

"_I wa- am happy."_

"_Maybe but it isn't love. I told you, you would know if you had felt it and I know you have."_

"_You don't know what you are talking about."_

"_I do and I am going to say what I should have a long time ago."_

"_And what's that?"_

"_It's over. I can't keep waiting for you to feel something you won't. You need to open your eyes to what's right in front of you. Don't dismiss it just be honest."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Let's make a move. This place does give me the creeps."_

"_Actually I could do with another drink."_

"_We can pick some cans up and have them back at yours."_

"_Sorry. You dump me and then decide you want to go back to mine?"_

"_Aaron I want us to be friends."_

"_Yeah well it doesn't always work out like that. I want to forget about tonight, everything that has happened and start over."_

"_I would in a heartbeat, but it wouldn't change anything."_

"_Why you're not making any sense?"_

"_Because…"_

"_Because what?"_

Aaron was fighting to keep himself in check.

"_You would have still met Adam first."_


	5. The Final Goodbye

"_Ryan? As in my Ryan from the garage?"_

"_Give it a rest Aaron we're home now."_

Aaron couldn't picture that. Of all the people who they knew he couldn't see what Jackson would see in him, for a start he was the complete opposite to him.

"_I don't get it."_

"_You won't he's not your type."_

"_I don't have a type."_

"_Oh, but you do. Everyone does. And now we're…parting ways,_ that was the nicest description of what could easily have turned into a blazing row in Bar West, _I can help you."_

"_How exactly?"_

"_Buy me a pint and I'll tell you._ Taking a refreshing gulp of his beer, Jackson visibly relaxed and the smile returned to his face, which was until he turned to find Aaron stood staring at him, hands on his hips, tapping his foot impatiently. _Adam."_

"_What about him?"_

"_I can help you. After all he is your type."_

"_You can't be serious? I think I'll have my money back."_

"_Just think about it will you?"_

'_Believe me I have.'_ Truth be told it was something that had been whirring around in his head for the last couple of months, as things between him and Jackson had cooled off. _"We are just friends."_

"_But you fancy him."_

Jackson goaded.

"_He is straight. _Aaron pointed out for the umpteenth time _and Ryan is too._ He added as an after thought._"_

"_Ryan was just an example, but Adam is the one that got away."_

"_Jay that's not true. I was happy with you."_

"_Was or are? Forget that._ He waved his hand dismissively. _We had a good run, but it was never going to last. The one thing I am sure of is that Adam will always be here for you. Speaking of the Devil." _

He gestured none too subtly over Aaron's shoulder as the pub doors banged open and in bounced a unnaturally ecstatic Adam.

"_Pint please Diane and one for yourself. Boys what can I get ya?"_

"_Nowt, ta. _Jackson answered. _Have you won the lottery or something?"_

"_More of the something. Tonight is my first night out as a free man!"_

Aaron's jaw hit the floor. Jackson had to nudge him back to reality before Adam cottoned on.

"_Why? I mean what happened with Scarlet?" _

Aaron tried to sound supportive, but in his head there was a party.

"_It just wasn't working anymore. She was twittering on about stupid things when everything at home is in tatters. I've just had enough."_

"_So, how did she take it?"_

Jackson asked, as evidently he was the only one who cared.

"_I don't know."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_She stayed in here. I went home for a kip."_

"_You ended it in a pub in public and then left her sitting here?"_

It suddenly occurred to Jackson how thoughtless his actions had been, but at least he hadn't left Aaron stranded in Bar West.

"_So I should probably go and check on her?"_

"_If you want to._ Adam really couldn't give a hoot. _Or we could go into town and make a night of it?"_

"_Jay." _

Aaron hissed under his breath as he could sense the anger and frustration radiating from beside him, but he didn't want him to cause a scene, although he felt a little sorry for Scarlet.

"_I'll just go and see how she is."_

Jackson seethed. Not that Adam noticed as he was making his way back to the bar for their next round.

"_So, I guess I'll see you around?" _

Aaron held out his hand for Jackson to shake. It wasn't his ideal way of saying goodbye, but people were already staring at them.

"_Yeah you will._ To his surprise Jackson enveloped him into his muscular arms. _I will miss you._ He whispered softly into his ear._"_

"_I will miss you too. _Aaron felt a tear trickling down his cheek. He pulled away unsure if it was his or Jackson's, but it turned out they were both crying. Jackson lifted his hand to wipe away his tears as he had a million times before, but he thought better of it and instead briefly squeezed his arm comfortingly. Aaron stepped forwards, closing the gap between them and tenderly kissed his cheek where the teardrops were resting. _Take care Jay."_

"_I will. You too. Just be honest with him."_

"_Somehow I don't think it's the right time do you?"_

Aaron managed a watery smile mirrored by Jackson as they turned to see Adam casually leaning against the bar, surrounded by a gaggle of giggling women all fluttering their eye lashes to great effect.

"_Oh, I don't know._ Jackson replied as almost instinctively Adam caught Aaron's eye and winked at him. _I think you're in there."_

"_He always does that."_

"_To everyone?_ Jackson raised his eyebrows questioningly. _Anyway I'll leave you to it I better call in at Scarlet's. Take a bottle of wine to drown our sorrows._ He winked cheekily._"_

"_Thanks. Tell her-"_

"_Don't worry I'll sort it. You'll have your hands full with him."_

"_I guess. See ya."_

They parted with one final hug.


	6. He Is Always A Handful

Jackson hadn't been wrong about Adam being a handful, not that they hadn't been in this position before, three and a half pints later and he had by passed tipsy town and was slowly reaching incapable.

"_I I don't… I don't feel too good."_

Adam gagged as he leant towards Aaron to whisper in his ear.

"_Great. Better get you to the toilets then."_

"_See I…I knew…knew that was your plan all along."_

Adam babbled absolute gibberish as Aaron helped him unsteadily to his feet.

"_Yeah you got me. My plan was to get you wasted, make you sick, to lure you into the bathroom so I can have my wicked way with you."_

"_I I…see I knew. You…you not so clever."_

Adam slurred incoherently.

"_No I guess not. _Aaron drawled sarcastically as he rolled his eyes. He let go of Adam allowing him to stumble into a cubical, as the door slammed into his backside propelling him into the toilet bowl. _Are you okay mate?"_

The only reply he received was a gut wrenching splatter as Adam relieved his stomach of its contents followed by a faint 'mmm' of acknowledgement.

"_Shall I get you some water?"_

"_mmm lots of it."_

He flushed before emerging miraculously more steady on his feet, but whiter than a ghost. He splashed some cold water on his face, before giving himself the once over in the mirror.

'_What had he just said to Aaron?'_

Thankfully he had no time to dwell on his inner musings as Aaron returned to collect him, not that he was likely to get lost returning to their table as it happened to be the one nearest to the toilet doors. He sat down and gratefully gulped the water before him to get rid of the nasty taste festering at the back of his throat. His held felt surprisingly clear.

"_Now my plan has obviously been foiled,_ Adam raised his eyebrows in confusion as Aaron smiled and shook his head amusedly, _what really happened with Scarlet? _Adam instantly lowered his gaze to the floor. _You tell me yours and I'll tell you mine._ Aaron quipped half heartedly._"_

"_Why? Has something happened with you and Jackson?"_

"_You could say that, but I asked you first."_

"_Fine. Do you want to go for a walk?"_

"_Yeah. Let's get out of here."_

Aaron didn't need to ask where. Smithy and Butler's were both out of the question, so they were heading to the one private place in the village, the spot where they had first met, the abandoned equipment shed at the cricket pavilion.

"_I thought my days of doing that were over."_

Adam muttered mutinously as he picked himself up from the dust coated floor and brushed himself down as they had squeezed in through the boarded up window.

"_It never gets old._ Aaron sank to the floor, resting his back against the rear wall. _We could just leave the door open for next time. Do you remember that first day we met?"_

Adam sank down beside him; a smile flittered across his face.

"_Yeah how could I forget?"_

He dug him in the shoulder playfully.

"_True. You were a right Cocky git."_

"_I had to be. You scared me to death when you climbed in through that window."_

"_I never meant to."_

"_I know."_

"_I was giving our Cain a wide birth. I'd nicked the cash from the office safe."_

"_I was just avoiding packing."_

"_That's right. You'd just moved into the farm."_

"_I wanted to size up the village see what I had to work with, but instead I spent the better part of the afternoon with you supping beer and chatting. It was amazing really, we just clicked."_

"_Yeah and we've not looked back since."_

"_No I guess we haven't. We've had each others back through a lot."_

"_Exactly. So tell me what really happened with Scarlet? I know I was hardly her number one fan,_ that was the world's biggest understatement, _but you seemed happy. What changed?"_

Aaron was surprised by his own choice of words, the last part anyway. Why would he assume something had changed? He couldn't deny that he had felt different about their relationship over the last couple of months, but maybe Adam had just lost interest in Scarlet, he probably had no idea about the turmoil he had been feeling.

"_I guess I never really thought about it like that. Scarlet did though."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Promise you won't laugh." _

Adam blushed embarrassedly, the first sign of colour returning to his face.

"_I promise."_

Adam couldn't look him in the eyes although he knew he was telling the truth.

"_She said we were so close we may as well have been going out."_

Aaron was literally stunned into silence. Adam had to look up to check he was still breathing.

"_We were…I mean you…Jackson."_

Aaron was struggling to find the right words.

"_I was there because you needed me and you returned the favour. I think she got the wrong end of the stick."_

"_Yeah well Jackson did too."_

Aaron admitted sheepishly.

"_What?"_

"_He said he wouldn't continue to hang around waiting for me to love him when I'm already in love with someone else."_

"_And are you?"_

"_What?"_

"_In love with someone else_. Aaron turned away as for the second time that night he felt tears welling in his eyes. _Look at me Aaron."_

"_No…no please don't ask me that."_

Adam tilted his chin so he was looking deep into his eyes he tenderly wiped away his tears just as Jackson used to do, but it was images of their car accident and near kiss which invaded his consciousness as slowly but purposefully he made the move to close the gap between them.

"_Aaron…"_

"_Adam do-"_

"_Shhhh."_

"_Please don't." _

"_No. It's okay. Believe me I should have done this a long time ago. I love you." _


	7. Getting What We Want

They had lain together for the longest time completely contented on the cold, filthy, uncomfortable floor until Aaron finally spoke.

"_You do know I love you too. _He closed his eyes and the biggest smile spread across his face, he breathed into Adam's mouth as their lips crashed together and their tongues entwined, dancing rhythmically as one. _I always have." _

Adam pulled Aaron on top of him, so his body was covering his own. He ground his hips up and down so Aaron could feel his arousal pulsating against his inner thigh. Suddenly coming to his senses Aaron pulled away.

"_Adam. Stop. Wait. Do you know what you are doing?"_

"_A part of me obviously does."_

Adam blushed as they both focused on the prominent bulge in his jeans.

"_That isn't what I meant. We have both just got out of a long term relationship today and we have had a couple of drinks, I don't want you to think I am just jumping straight into bed with you. I meant it when I said I love you. I want to be with you properly."_

Adam bolted upright and roughly pushed Aaron off him.

"_You think this is just about the sex? I could've stayed with Scar for that and I do have two hands. You are an idiot if you can't see how much more you mean and have always meant to me."_

Picking himself up off the floor Adam stormed out of the rickety door and into the blistering night, as Aaron sat there literally frozen in shock.

'_How had he ruined the best night of his life?'_

His thoughts returning to his current situation he ran out of the shed calling Adam's name, thankful he was on foot.

"_Adam! Adam wait!_ He could see a lone silhouette in the distance. _Where are you going?"_

"_I don't know. _He really hadn't thought that far ahead. _Pub?"_

"_Come back to mine we can talk there."_

"_Isn't Paddy in?"_

"_He's probably at Marlon's."_

"_I guess."_

"_Adam stop being so stubborn. _He grabbed his arm more roughly than intended to stop him from walking away. _I'm sorry. I never should have said that, but you have to admit it will be what everyone else is thinking."_

"_I doubt it. We'll just be getting evils because everyone loves Scarlet and Jackson can do no wrong."_

"_Yeah well he dumped me."_

Aaron pouted petulantly.

"_I dumped her."_

"_For good reason."_

"_Oh yeah and what's that?"_

"_You couldn't keep stringing her along."_

"_No but I probably could have handled it a lot better."_

He conceded honestly.

"_Probably, but things change and no one can help that. Jackson more or less said that to me."_

"_She still didn't deserve it though. I never meant for this to happen."_

"_Neither did I. But you shouldn't stay with someone if you don't love them. _Aaron stopped abruptly as he realized he was about to walk past his house. _Come in I've got a couple of cans in or at least Paddy has."_

"_I don't think this is a good idea._ Adam suddenly seemed very nervous. His earlier confidence had disappeared. _I should probably be going to the hospital."_

"_It's a bit late for that isn't it?"_

"_Maybe. I still need an early night."_

"_And you can't have one drink? It won't kill you."_

"_Yeah you're right."_

Adam couldn't believe how daft he was being. He'd been friends with Aaron for years and they had always been able to talk about anything. He perched on the edge of the sofa, stiff as a board he didn't even remove his coat, Aaron handed him a drink, which he opened and gulped in one.

"_Do you want another?"_

Aaron goaded.

"_Nnn…no thanks."_

Adam mumbled under his breath.

"_Adam relax. We don't have to do this. We don't have to do anything."_

He smiled to himself as he realized those were the exact words Jackson had said to him just before his first time.

"_Aaron…it's not that I don't want to."_

"_I know. _He clasped his hand and squeezed it comfortingly. To his surprise Adam returned the pressure. _I understand."_

"_I know you love me and I want you to understand that I love you too, but this is all new to me."_

"_It's scary for me too. Okay I have an advantage in that I have been with a bloke before, but we are taking our relationship to a new level and that is always going to be scary. Maybe it is too soon to be thinking of sleeping together."_

"_I just want to…be with you. We don't have to go all the way."_

"_I can do that."_

Aaron smiled reassuringly. Offering Adam his hand he helped him from the sofa and led him upstairs to his bedroom. He may have been in there millions of times before, but that particular night it was as though they were seeing everything for the first time.


End file.
